According to Sexologist Vanessa Marin
It’s unfortunate fact of life that the average man requires far less time to reach orgasm than the average woman. Most men can orgasm in under five minutes, while women typically require 20 minutes.
It’s important to note that this is not primarily a medical problem – it’s just a fact of life. Various studies have shown that the problem affects between 20 to 30 percent of men! That means there are a lot of frustrated women out there and a lot of relationship problems caused by this issue.
Below is a discussion of Cosmopolitan Magazine’s fantastic easy steps that women can take to help their lovers last longer in bed. Long enough to allow both parties to enjoy great sex and to both achieve great orgasms.
1. Get him to breathe deeply
Ejaculation is triggered by the brain and the nervous system. Something as simple as deep breathing has been proven to calm the response of the sympathetic nervous system allowing men to get far greater control of their ejaculatory response. Doctor Christopher Asandra, founder and Chief Medical Officer of NuMale Medical Centres recommends the following simple and effective way to help him last longer in bed.
Inhale through the nose, keep it in for at least 3 seconds and then exhale slowly through the mouth. By breathing deeply we oxygenate the blood more which causes our brain to release endorphins, creating feelings of well-being and, at the same time, reducing stress in the body
He suggests practicing this method at least 3 times each day until it becomes a habit and also doing it just before sex. Another method recommended by Cosmopolitan is to synchronize breathes. The woman begins by inhaling, the man follows her lead but holds his breath while she exhales slowly. This is repeated until both partners feel calm and relaxed. Doing this together also helps to build intimacy and trust in the relationship.
2. Get your orgasm first
The problem of the man finishing too soon can be easily solved by not having him start until he has given you an orgasm. Encourage him to use his hands and mouth and show him how to do the things to you that drive you wild. This will ensure that you don’t miss the boat and will also give him greater confidence. You will both feel calmer and, importantly, many women have found that the second orgasm is both easier to achieve and more intense than the first.
3. Get him off before penetration
If you give your man an orgasm either manually or orally before penetration this will allow him to last far longer the second time round. In an article in Men’s Fitness Doctor Larry P Gassner has the following important advice for both partners to bear in mind. As a man gets older his recovery time, also termed post-orgasm refractory period, during which the man is ”down and out” gets longer. So be careful not to replace the problem of premature ejaculation with that of erectile dysfunction. Doctor Gassner therefore suggests that your man discover his recovery time during ”encore solo sessions”.
4. The start-stop technique
The Start-Stop Technique is an excellent way to help a man last longer in bed. It is not a quick fix and requires practice over many weeks in order to master it. Thankfully the practice is rather pleasurable. The man should learn just how much and what kind of stimulation of the penis leads to orgasm. With practice he learns to recognize the signs that he is about to ejaculate and trains himself to stop before this happens. This will trigger the refractory phase mentioned above but without him having ejaculated. This process can then be repeated until he is ready to have an orgasm. By doing this your man will learn to naturally gain better control over the timing of his orgasm and ejaculation.
Once this has been mastered he can learn subtle adjustments of pressure, positioning and muscle tension that allows him to prevent ejaculation without stopping completely.
5. The squeeze-tease technique
The squeeze-tease technique is another excellent practice that you can do with your partner to help last longer in bed. When he is about to orgasm either you or he should squeeze the penis firmly at the tip or at the base. This will cause an interruption in the ejaculatory sequence and allow him to relax a bit before resuming active penetrative sex. Both these techniques are best approached as an ongoing and incremental process leading to ever greater control over the ejaculatory sequence.