Facts and Fiction about Sexuality Beliefs

Sexuality is a term which is always associated with stories, myths, facts, fiction, misconceptions – and often just plain nonsense. There are no fixed rules about sexuality as what is good for one couple, may not be good for someone else. Rules are not applicable because the physical and mental attitudes differ from couple to couple, and human sexuality is extremely personalised.

With human beings, sexuality is not an action which is only related to the body – it is also very much related to the mind, where all things sexual actually begin.

The mind is also the place where confusion reigns about what is factual about sexuality, and what is a myth.

Some stories about sexuality which may have you confused:

Myth. The pull-out method works fine as a way to prevent pregnancy.
Fact. From the millions of sperm ejaculated only one is needed to fertilise an egg. The lubricating fluid which also contains sperm is emitted just before ejaculation and obviously before the pull-out action. If the timing is wrong, some of the fluid-containing sperm can enter the uterus and result in pregnancy. The pull-out method may prevent pregnancy, but is far from a safe method of birth control.

Myth. Satisfaction is all about size.
Fact. Size does not matter at all. The vagina, in any case, can only accommodate something up to a certain size. What really matters are proper sexual practices and emotional feelings that result in a good experience and climax for both partners.

Myth. If you are trying to fall pregnant, you should have sex each day for at least a month.
Fact. Having daily sex may decrease sperm count and make it even harder to conceive. Sex should be timed for just before ovulation, and just after ovulation, for the best results.

Myth. Sex has to be very romantic and intimate every time.
Fact. This is a sentiment not shared by everyone, although there are some folk who truly believe that it should be so. It is a mindset that may cause some people to be disappointed in a sexual encounter, and not get the satisfaction and enjoyment that they should be experiencing.

Myth. Being faithful to one person is easy.
Fact. Monogamy is not a natural occurring experience. Even in the closest of relationships, a partner may have an attraction to another person, even if they have vowed to remain faithful. The urge to have an affair could arise, and a partner may have to make challenging decisions and commitment to resist the urge of an affair. It is no easy matter.

Myth. Sex should always be spontaneous and unplanned to be enjoyable.
Fact. Spontaneous up to a point is good, but not all the time. TV shows often picture a couple hardly being able to get into a room before ripping each other’s clothes off in a frenzy of desire. In reality it does not work like that. Desire is responsive, and building up to sexual encounter in that way results in far more desire and satisfaction in every way.

Myth. Only men have issues with sexual dysfunction.
Fact. This myth gives rise to the idea that female sex dysfunction is not physical or medical. This is definitely not true. It is easy to see if a man has erection or libido issues, but in a woman it is not so obvious. There may be underlying reasons for a female lack of desire, including hormonal as well as psychological issues which could need medical intervention.

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March 15, 2019 — Colin Katz