What is true love?

Whether it is your first serious relationship or just your first love affair in a while, you might find yourself wondering whether or not these feelings are a sign of true love.

It is important to note that everyone experiences love in their own way. However, most of us know that there is a big difference between simple attraction, attachment and physical lust. Separately, none of these feelings should be confused with love. However, combined and including a deep connection to the person concerned, they could definitely be construed as true love.

Experts say that the connection phase is often the key to a potential long-term loving relationship.

Some ideas about how love makes you feel:

  • There is a physical attraction, but it is more than plain lust. Lust will not last, but the more you get to know your partner, the more you will care and the deeper your bond of connection will grow.
  • You are not worried about the risk of possible heartbreak. Love causes you to open your heart to another person in spite of love being a huge risk of a broken heart.
  • You feel calm and content when you are with this person, and instinctively believe that you are in the right place.
  • You are both able to accept faults and imperfections in each other, which allows your relationship to grow in tolerance, and also accepting that long-term love is often a process of adjustments and choices.
  • True love gives you the ability to trust that your love will stand the test of time, and help you to overcome obstacles and challenges.
  • When your relationship is tested during tough times, you realise that through it all, you have become stronger as a couple.
  • You realise that you genuinely love having this person in your life, but a part of you knows that, although it may be devastating, you are still strong enough to be OK on your own if it doesn’t work out the way that you hope it does.

Having true love around for the long haul might be sometimes fraught with unsettling events, but if you both feel the same way about each other, working at your relationship will be well worth it.

The physical side of true love

The sexual side of true love is very important to keep the passion alive. In a long-term relationship, the satisfaction usually increases with time as you get to know each other better. However, the frequency of sexual encounters may also decrease over time, especially if you do not communicate your desires to each other.

Another reason why sex may decrease in a long-term relationship is that at the outset you probably started off in overdrive mode. This will obviously settle down into something less hectic as time goes by, and you find out what makes each other tick.

The danger is not to allow sex to become dull, boring, and not much fun at all, with the result that you are hardly expending any notable amount of energy during the sexual encounters.

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July 05, 2020 — Colin Katz