The frigid woman issue
This is a term which is generally used to describe women who have a chronically low, or non-existent sex drive, which is a genuine sexual dysfunction condition. Unfortunately, the word frigid is also often used incorrectly to describe a woman who may be emotionally cold or does not readily respond to her partner’s sexual advances.
While many men tend to become aroused very quickly, most women seldom do. A man who is disappointed at the slowness, or the lack of his partner’s arousal, may label her as frigid. However, the reason for the lack of desire may be physical or may be lurking deep in the mind. Fortunately, whatever the reasons may be, psychological or physical, the condition can be successfully treated.
Intimacy involves a range of emotions from romance, feelings of closeness and security, to feelings of desire and sensuality. Ideally, the situation should feel right for both partners to enjoy the moment, but in reality, this rarely happens.
Therapists have reported that some women have summed up their lack of desire by shifting the blame to their partners, stating that most times when they only want affection, their partners always want sex. This belief can cause women to move into an area of physical coldness and a complete withdrawal from showing affection.
However, this is not always true for everyone but perhaps helps to show that sexuality does not exist in isolation. Warmness, affection, and communication are necessary for mutual sexuality.
Some emotional and physical causes for frigidity:
- Past traumatic experiences such as rape, sexual assault or incest.
- Situational factors such as an intoxicated partner, or someone in the next room when you have visitors, or when you may be visiting others.
- A bad relationship where a woman is expected to be ready for sex after verbal or physical abuse.
- Effects of some medications, as well as alcohol or drug abuse.
- An underlying medical or gynaecological problem.
- Hormonal imbalances.
- A lack of adequate foreplay.
- High levels of stress, exhaustion and chronic fatigue.
- A poor body image, combined with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.
None of these problems are insurmountable, but if a chronic lack of desire has become a serious problem and your relationship is taking strain, there are treatment options to consider.
- To rule out physical or hormonal problems, visit the doctor for a full examination, and a hormonal blood test check
- If there are emotional or psychological issues such as stress and anxiety involved, the doctor may suggest seeing an experienced counsellor – either as an individual or as a couple. Some women, whose instinctive responses to sexuality may have been repressed or inhibited because of religious or cultural issues, will benefit greatly from professional help.
Changing poor lifestyle and dietary habits, such as cutting down on alcohol and smoking, and embracing a healthy eating plan, can also play a part in dealing with low libido.
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