Remember a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off your partner? One look, one touch and you would spend the day glowing in what seemed like all consuming passion. You had endless time, energy and passion.
In a perfect world, every moment of your relationship would be like the scene from the The Notebook when Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling finally get together….Add the romantic music, the rain and all seems perfect. Right? So what stops us from living that mushy, crazy in love life? Nothing other than getting used to your partner, living out your daily routines and letting the intimacy and desire take a back seat.
Relationships are challenging and take constant commitment to keep that spark alive. Every day, we’re bombarded with reminders of what love should be like whether it be in a movie, a TV series or even shop windows.
Elly Klein, dating and relationship expert and author of “Men Are Like a Box of Chocolates” explains that it is very important to put the required amount of time and energy into your relationship.
The key to fanning the flame, and keeping your relationship in check, is to embrace every opportunity to sweeten up even the most obviously mundane tasks together.
Here are a few simple passion booting tips to keeping that spark alive
The “chosen” word
Choose a word that occasionally comes up in conversation and agree that when this word is used, you have to touch – whether it be a kiss or a gentle stroke of the thigh under the table. This will aid in creating sexual tension and thrust ideas into your partners mind about when and how they can get you alone.
Wine and dine
That regular week night dinner just got a little more interesting. Why not break out the finest china, dim the lights, grab some candles, even if it’s just the regular week night lasagne. Turn up the Barry White or Enrique Iglesias. Gregory Godek, author of 1001 ways to be romantic (Casablanca Press, 2000) suggests that It’s all about the mood, not the food. Studies have shown that certain foods do tend to boost the libido. So be sure to add these ingredients to your next meal.
Get swept off your feet
What do you do while you’re waiting for dinner? Make up some sexy dance moves, pull your partner close and groove for 20 minutes. Slow dancing can help build intimacy in your relationship as well as relieve stress. So, turn up the music, press up against him/her, entangle your legs and dance around your lounge. ….now you’re cookin’.
Outlaw the grime war
Movie night at home on the couch? Think twice before putting on those comfy tracksuit pants and overgrown t-shirts. These aren’t exactly a recipe for a night of building sexual intimacy in your relationship. And yes, it’s only a movie night on the couch, but not why slip into something a little more comfortable. Try a snug fit t-shirt or sheer tank top. Pair it with your favourite jeans or khaki’s for that insatiable look. If you’d really like to take it a step further. There is no harm in pulling out all the stops when it comes to what you’ll be wearing…or taking off later.
Pot and plot together
Ok, so this might be a little old fashioned, but doing the dishes together not only means spending time together, but may be incredibly romantic (and perhaps cute). Roll up your sleeves and get to washing those dishes. Talk about places you’ve travelled to or even want to travel to, silly things you’d like to do at least once in your life. Get lost in your partner and your relationship while your hands are touching as you’re doing this incredibly mundane activity. Give your partner the cute but gentle flick of the dish towel on their bottom. Be warned though….this might lead to more.
Chilling in front of the TV watching your favourite movie or series? Heat things up with a little hands on action. Rub your partner’s shoulders or give your partner mini foot rubs. Or lay on their lap and let your partner play with your hair.
Sweet treat confessions
So your partner is having a long hard day at the office. Why not call up their favourite restaurant and order in an “I’m thinking of you” lunch. Order your favourite dessert and let your partner know that dessert is waiting at your place later.
Date Night Challenge
Instead of the usual restaurants or pubs you visit on date night, take your relationship to the next level by making a list of all the local places you and your partner have wanted to visit. These might be restaurants, foods, activities. Write these ideas on index cards, blind fold your partner and select an index card. Pair that with a movie, round of mini golf, or a romantic cruise and embark on your mysterious, exotic adventure.
Fake a power outage
For the ultimate love nudge, fake a power outage. Unplug all electronics. This includes, the TV, cell phones and tablets. With no distractions, you’ll be forced to break out the candles and embrace your partner while chatting and reconnecting. Studies have shown that candles have a significant effect on the romance factor in any relationship.
Paying your bills? Write out a sexy check to your partner. Vouchers may include a head-to-toe massage, kisses or if you’re feeling a little more adventurous, create something a little naughty to boost their desire to redeem that voucher.
Go old school and write out notes on what you love best about you partner and post it to them. Start by telling your partner exactly what you love about each body part.
Come and find me
Spice up your usual routine by meeting your partner at a secret location. Write out sensual and sexy clues to where they might find you. You can decide to send your partner an email every hour during your work day feeding those clues on where to meet you that evening. Provide riddles that hint at the landmarks or places you’ve explored together.
During the day, send your partner little reminders that you’re thinking of them. Send a cheeky text message or an irresistible pic. You could also slip some items of clothing into their gym or work bag. Or, if you’re feeling daring, flash them in public. Build their sexual desire throughout the day and leave them yearning to be at home between the sheets with you.
Outlaw work war
And last but not least, make office politics, work groans and gripes a banned topic while you’re out with your partner. Make meal time, “your time”. Talk about ideas, friends, movies, holidays and relationship goals rather than bombarding each other with work woes. Make it interesting by enforcing a penalty should a work topic accidentally pop up. Penalties could be specific chores, turned into a naughty affair. Experiment with what works for you as a couple.
Remember when you first met your partner, how giddy you felt just seeing your phone light up with their name when they called or messaged you. Remember how much effort you put into your appearance as well as how much you flirted and smiled to get their attention. Work at doing that again. Sure people grow and change, but there was something you did to get your partner to notice you and fall for you the first time. Show them that that person still exists.